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Screenwriter to Jessica Alba: Bitch, please.



Last Friday, I covered Jessica Alba’s Elle Magazine December cover and interview excerpts. The excerpts were especially notable, because Alba is such a f-cking idiot. Hand to God, she said this to Elle Magazine: “Good actors, never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.” I took Alba to task, as did many, many others. As I said at the time, Alba’s comment was a huge diss to screenwriters - Alba is basically saying that all “good” actors are so brilliant that they can ALWAYS come up with better lines than screenwriters. Anyway, as commenter Gloaming just pointed out, now screenwriters are reacting to Dame Alba’s comments. Their response? A united “Bitch, please.” Well… at this point it’s just screenwriter John August, a reoccurring collaborator with Tim Burton - they worked together on Big Fish, Corpse Bride, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This is what August had to say on his blog:

Oh, Jessica

I have to believe she was misquoted, or excerpted in some unflattering way, because Jessica Alba couldn’t have actually said this: “Good actors, never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.”

Oh, Jessica. Where to start?

Scripts aren’t just the dialogue. Screenplays reflect the entire movie in written form, including those moments when you don’t speak. Do you know the real reason we hold table readings in pre-production? So the actors will read the entire script at least once.

Following your logic, you’ve never been in a movie with both good actors and amazing writing. That may be true, but it might hurt the feelings of David Wain, Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller.

You’re saying your co-stars who delivered their lines as written are not “good actors.” Awkward. You’re setting dangerous expectations. So if an aspiring actor wishes to be “good,” she should say whatever she wants to say? That’s pretty terrible advice. Screenwriters can be your best friends. We are pushovers for attractive people who pay attention to us. I wrote that bathtub scene in Big Fish because Jessica Lange made brief eye contact with me. So if you’re not getting great writing — and honestly, you’re not — ask to have lunch with the screenwriter. I’ve seen you on interviews. You’re charming. That charm could work wonders.

Again: I know that quotes often come out in ways we never intended. It’s lacking context — though the photos are lovely. (Hi, Carter Smith!) I’m calling this out just so we can all hopefully learn something.

[From Deadline]

That’s cute. He didn’t get all pissy and mean, it’s like he’s chiding a very small, very dumb child. Which Alba kind of is.


Photos courtesy of WENN.


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